Relation 2- written by a friend

I am not going to talk about financial securities… last night I told someone special "people who get in in-formal relationships feel inherently insecure", I have been thinking about it, I was co-relating it to one of the incident that I saw in the close proximity of someone. One of old female colleagues fell in love with a guy and everything was great, then at some point; she got scared about losing him. She did everything and gave him everything he wanted and sacrificed her friends, her social circle. Eventually he dumped her out of the blue saying some shit. Now I am thinking, she ruined her relationship because she was inherently in-secure, not about loosing him, but also all the paraphernalia associated with him. From boy's perspective I think he may not be equipped to handle all the seriousness and emotions associated with relationship. When people get together in the first place, we tend to change and off course there's a reason. When we try to please each other, that reason is gone. And we won't respect each other. Here is another problem I think girls feel that the boys are going away, so they do more and more to keep him around esp. when girls start liking boys blindly for the paraphernalia attached rather then a person in them, and go to a new horizon. Contrary on the other side of story, problem with most of boys I know is that they just cannot say "no" upfront and just start playing games instead with the girl's insecurities to manipulate them.
Being dumped too, and after interacting with many girls I learnt to think from both the sides of equation. What I think if someone doesn't make you feel more confident and happier than before they came around, then chances of the relationship survival is less and one should end it. But the problem is we don't realize it, because we as human beings tend to get carried away and do the same mistake over and over again!

Relations

I thought to write a blog on it, but this word itself gives many different conceptions to every individual so defining it in an omniscient way will be out of the scope of my intelligence. The set of relation starts defining before our birth as the parents, their family and siblings (if any). We don’t have any control on this fundamental set though it plays a crucial role in defining rest of our relations in the later life. As a child grows, it learns the world wisdom and deals with different ‘wanted and unwanted’ people in the life- your best teacher, Bully in the class or crooked neighbors…
As adolescence starts a new image of relation takes shape- spouse, then a series of new learning and experiences begins (some people stays at the edge to wait for an ideal time and person). After the understandings of basic lessons e.g. ‘All that glitters is not gold’, an ideal image of a partner is formed. Actually vast majority of people can spend their whole life at this step, since every time you are dealing with an element of unknown set of relation. But principle of maximum entropy works here, the information gain reduces the gap (Caution: Excess information may results in white and red noise too). Truthfully, there is hardly any heuristic scheme which can optimize this problem and get you the best solution.
Indians have designed their own process to make final decision for this relation. The older version was quite similar to the ‘blood relations’ – a surprise package chosen by the parents. The modified version is –you may get experiences but let the final decision announced by the parents or horoscope or castes etc., similar to ancient version. This high-tech generation, who has crossed the seas, dreamt higher than the sky has to rely on the others for the final selection of partner. In this scenario the ultimate goal – to get a life mate, who will be with you through thick and thin of life (people wait till their ‘best materialistic time’ when they can get the best from others), may be compromised but the rigid way by which Indian marriages are defined make them stable.
Regardless of chosen or imposed destiny, this relation of ‘man – woman’ is the part of next 30 – 40 years of life in most of cases. A new nest, a new series of relations starts. Any ‘happy or even not so happy’ couple of 20 – 30 years old relationship, reminds the commitment of that single moment when they swore ‘to live together’. They have crossed all the charms and chasms of this relation and live with an inclination of ‘each other’.